Dear you (i)

Seandainya aja aku punya keberanian untuk ngubungin km duluan, untuk sms atau telepon km duluan. Aku pasti gag akan nulis, gag akan curhat disini. Aku sebenernya bukan gaberani, bukan juga takut kalau nantinya km gag bales atau aku jd sakit hati lagi. Semuanya karena aku terlanjur tertelan harga diri. Harga diri aku terlalu besar untuk memberanikan untuk sekedar mengetik 'hai' . Ahh seandainya aku berani menelpon mu cuman untuk bilang, aku menunggumu, aku selalu menunggumu.

Miris rasanya jika tiba-tiba aku tersadar, banyak yang mengejarku, ada pula yg menungguku. Tapi ntah kenapa aku hanya mengejar dan menunggu yang tidak mengejar atau menungguku?
Sudah menjadi kebiasaanku sekarang, jika terlanjur menyayangi aku tak membuka hati, ntah susah atau memang aku tak mau.

Dear you, seaundainya km buka nomer mu yang satunya, nomer yang kau beli untuk menghubungiku. Kau pasti tau betapa aku sayang padamu, bagaimana aku menunggumu.

Dear you, aku tak bisa apa-apa my pride has swallow me, so aku hanya bisa menunggumu dalam diam :') dalam ketidak pastian.

Dear You (ii)

I've had a lot of boyfriends in my life, i've been in love with a lot of people, but it never felt this way. Never not once, have i felt the way about you as i felt about the other guys i've been with. It feels like i can never love someone the way i love you.
Its not like i dont think i can find another guy, in fact i might found someone better than you. But the truth is i dont want that. I want YOU. I know its weird, but i want that stupid fight and conversation with you. I want everynight im waiting you to call me, i miss the way you wake me up when i fall asleep in your car, i want the pain of waiting you everyday. As long as its from you, its alright. Because i love you. And i know if i found another guy, who's just like you, both personality and looks, i still wouldnt be able to love that guy the samw way i love you :)

Ma-RR-ied

see my previous post ? yup, im in love immediately just by listening to the first lyric, and its so simple yet its so beautiful. I cant help it, my tears rolling down, and its my first time listened to a song that's so beautiful, not sad and made me cried. This song is making me wanna get married even moooore. AAAAAAA and i saw the video cover is about wedding, and uuuu even making me cried. You know because of my relationship before and always ended up me Broken Hearted, i'm like giving up for whole those Boyfriemd things, i even ask my mother to setting me up, oke it just me being so pathetic, but really im so desperate ended up broken heart and cry. Someday i just want to meet my soulmate, and get married and live happily ever after. I'm done with all those kind of relationship that just looking for pleasure and for those who just seek for pleasure, just stay away from me, and i mean it really! and thank you for those who love me. and still love me :")
I don't know why i love those guys who hurted me and i cant love them that love me? i don't know its fair i guess i hurt them by not loving them and they hurt me by..... you know right ? Life is like mirror you do something bad to a person and someday you will get bad things in return and i hate to call it KARMA, i don't know why. But the best thing you could do to the people who hurt you is wishing the the best, wishing them to be happy and forgive them, if you can't forgive, how you can really forget? me, personally hate to know the fact that i still running around in circle of the past. im like in labyrin i couldnt find my way to out unless i forgive, so i forgive them and i have my way out, and hopefully i can find someone that pick me up in the end of the labyrin.
Hey, im no longer a pleasure seeker like i used to be, if im still that kind of person, i wouldn't writing about all of this. i'll be playing with my boyfriend since its saturday night. Im basically single but i don't know im starting to enjoy it, because you know im looking for serious relationship, though im only 19 and it still 3 months again hahaa
Because of my environment at my college im like growing up faster haha my friends are litteraly got engaged and 3 of them are married, and listening to The wedding song by Angus & Julia Stone its like aaaarrrrgghhhhhhhhh. So hopefully i can found my soulmate, Hey my future husband what are you doing now ? Im writting about you know :)

The Wedding Song by Angus & Julia Stone

We are gonna build a life together
You and I for ever and ever
And we'll, we'll make babies on the beach
Under the stardust
And I'll hear your voice come through the door
A thousand times, maybe more
And I'll smile inside to know you're mine
Completely

Do you know how lovely you are?
In the starlight, in the starlight of my heart
Do you know how lovely you are?
In the moonlight, in the moonlight of my heart

We're gonna build a home together
You and I for ever and ever
And we'll, we'll make babies on a beach
Under the stardust
And I'll hear your voice come through the door
A thousand times, maybe more
And I'll smile inside to know you're mine
Completely

And I'll wind up every day
Thinking about the way you make me feel
When your lips touch my lips
And I'd crawl inside a cave
Or live somewhere strange
As long as I'm with you
I have got what I need

We are gonna build a life together
You and I for ever and ever
And we'll, we'll make babies on the beach
Under the stardust
And I'll hear your voice come through the door
A thousand times, maybe more
And I'll smile inside to know you're mine
Completely mine